All roads lead to Rome and this a philosophy that Shire Women member, Melinda Charlesworth has taken into her business, Coach Mel.
Having worked for a number of years in IT programming she transitioned into customer service, as her technical knowledge of IT systems helped her address the concerns of her customers, and articulate what they needed to know to be confident in their purchase. This secured her a position in sales because of the knowledge and skills from her previous positions. At each junction, Mel was able to pivot and adapt her skillset in a new role.
It wasn’t long before Mel was taking big leaps in her industry, but the demands of raising children and travelling took its toll and she had to reassess her position. Travelling an hour to and from work could not be accommodated by her local childcare centre, and relocating to the Illawarra for work brought new challenges in finding a job in IT.
Mel looked at her employability in any industry and one role stuck out – Operations Manager. She could manage projects and co-ordinate the elements of each role because of her experience. As the new Operations Manager for a health fund, she was running a call centre, answering questions from staff, finding solutions and solving problems all the while coaching them on how to do that for themselves in the future.
‘I definitely felt like I had imposter syndrome, and I was just waiting for the day they would come in and say, ‘hey we know you don’t know what you are doing.’ But, that never happened, so for 10 years Mel continued to prove to herself and others that ‘by doing it, you are actually capable and deserving.’ This is the basis of Coach Mel.
You see, even though the fear of being ‘found out’ was real in her mind, it wasn’t real. It served as a motivator to achieve the daily goals and find her true path. Mel regularly took stock of her achievements, celebrating her wins with family and friends and acknowledged the mindset she had created for herself. This was reflecting for her a strategy for creating success.
Destined for Coaching
Regardless of the role Mel was in at work, she found herself coaching people. Taking them from their current operating level to performing at a higher level. This sparked a passion in Mel in which she used to create her own business, Coach Mel. Still based in the Illawarra, Mel works with others to:
- Remove obstacles
- Be Yourself
- Live your dreams
She often refers to her own transformation as a reinvention. Using her current skills and knowledge and applying them to anything, knowing she can learn what is needed along the way.
Identifying the type of fear that stops people from doing is crucial in the process she uses. Fear is a powerful and primitive human emotion. It alerts us to the presence of danger, and it was critical in keeping our ancestors alive. Fear can be divided into two responses: biochemical and emotional. The biochemical response is universal, while the emotional response is highly individual.
- Fear is a good thing, a survival mechanism.
- Fear is a source of excitement, it the rush you get when you are doing exciting things
- Fear is motivational, it’s how you see fear that matters. Be afraid of not doing it, of what you will miss out on, on what opportunities lie on the other side of that fear.
The most destructive of fears are your own self-limiting beliefs.
She understands how life gets in the way and people are blocked from achieving their goals because of time and money. ‘I get back to basics and help them find success routines that create the opportunities for them to move towards the result they are dreaming of.’ Says Mel.
"I show people how to flip things from being limiting, to actually use it to fuel their passion and reach their goals". Says Mel.
Most people want someone like Mel on their cheer squad. She is a believer in getting back to basics and her strategy requires ‘success routines and flexibility’.
‘It’s about taking people from a Silver to Gold medal. It really is about what people do every day that gets IT done. Chipping away at things that do work, finding out what doesn’t, and moving forward.’ Mel is helping people understand the environment they need to perform at their best as there are many that don’t even know what that looks like for them.
Helping others be their best self
It’s not about setting up the rock star lifestyle choices of pink fluffy pillows in the green room or only having red m&m’s on set, it might be something like taking the time to exercise, spending time with family and friends or reading a book.
With a rather large tool box of ‘try this on’ strategies, Mel’s curiosity unpacks what it’s going to take for you to become your best version. ‘Think of a time when you felt successful, you were successful, and you were thriving. What were you doing? Where were you?’ Asks Mel.
She looks at every nook and cranny of the environment you have created and helps you evaluate its presence in your life.
What is it costing you to carry an extra 10kg of weight?
What are you missing out on by working 50 hours a week?
Mel will find the patterns of behaviour that sabotage your success and help you to understand the choices available and the benefits of doing things differently. Her work is at the heart of fear.
- A fear of failure, of being rejected.
- A fear of now, in this moment not being good enough.
- A fear of pain that comes from the past.
According to Mel, procrastination and overwhelm are the main fears that stop people from moving forward. Fears are real whilst ever you allow them and there is a simply strategy to overcome it.
- Allow yourself to sit with your fear for 2-3 minutes and breathe deliberately. As you feel the fear it will begin to dissipate.
- Break the task down into smaller pieces. Bit size achievements that as you complete form the road you have paved.
Reflecting is important too
Mel encourages everyone to look back once in a while, just to see how far they have come. Fear is a storeroom full of wisdom and often using humour deflates the worst fears. By just ‘doing’ things, things get done and before you realise it, you are where you want to be.
With a Masters in logistics, Mel eats problems for breakfast, taking the block and turning it upside to use as a stepping stone in the right direction. Her skills in planning are not rigid. She plans in advance with eyes wide open, open to the idea that there may be something better that she hasn’t thought of. Recognising the potential of new opportunities is a skill in itself and trusting that the universe has her back, Mel knows things will happen unless there is something better around the corner. Good plans can go astray and whilst it might not feel like things are going your way, the reason will become clear and that diversion will become the greatest gift. ‘As long as people stay true to themselves and their path of intention, it will happen. I have seen it too many times to not believe it.’ Says Mel.
Mel shared that her greatest reward is watching people grow. ‘I just love seeing people become who they wanted to be. Especially women. As women, we always walk to the back of the queue, spending a lot of time making sure everyone else is ok, the kids are ok, the food is cooked, the dogs are washed. Self-care and placing yourself as a priority is the greatest gift you can give anyone, because you are turning up as your whole self with the energy to give them every part of you.’
Final Word
‘Sometimes just hearing that someone else is cheering you on, has your back and believes in you is all you need to move forward. I love watching people kick their goals and do what they want to do. Now that’s rewarding.’
Mel is a source of energy in ShireWomen and gracefully empowers the network with inspiration and self-belief. She brings a wealth of experience and expertise from her business and is equally as rewarded by the friendship and connections she has made. Mel is grateful for the strength and creativity that ShireWomen embody as it resonates with her own business philosophy.
Mel is currently running a challenge of helping 100 people in 100 days. This challenge includes a FREE strategy session. If you're inspired by her story and would like some help, click here to learn more or get involved.